The Foundation of Friendships

September 24, 2000

James 2:1-10, 11-13, 14-17

I worked late Wednesday night...

until just before midnight.

I was walking home...

and I didn't see the moon...

the moon saw me.

It was right at tree line

in the east.

It was huge...

and it was right there.

Felt like

I could reach out and touch it.

And something inside of me spoke.

God you are like the moon,

on the periphery,

at the edges...

at the beginning of the day

to set us on our way

and the end of the day

to take us in again.

And during the day

when you are overhead,

you seem so far away,

so untouchable.

What about you?

When does God feel closest to you?

Tradition holds that

the author of the letter

was the actual brother of Jesus -

and whether or not this is fact,

there can be no doubt that

James has been influenced

by the actual teaching of Jesus:

"Truly I tell you,

just as you did it

to one of the least of these

who are members of my family,

you did it to me" (Matthew 25:40).

I don't think we can read

this passage in James

without thinking of the tension

between James and Paul. (See Galatians 2 and Acts 15).

That the author of James

stresses that

"faith without works is dead"

seems pointedly contrary to

Paul's insistence that one is

"justified ... through faith in Christ ...

[and] not by the works of the law" (Galatians 2:16).

This tension was

exacerbated and "canonized"

by Luther who,

wholly influenced by Paul,

called James' epistle

the "straw gospel."

The conflict,

however it may appear

in a surface reading,

is hardly real.

James and Paul

complement each other well.

My guess is that

there were some

in the early church

who had misinterpreted Paul's teachings

and were proclaiming their salvation

in word only.

("This people honors me

with their lips

but their hearts

are far from me.")

I think the letter of James

has been something of a

pastoral "recall,"

so to speak,

in order to corral and correct

the misinterpretations.

The description that James provides

of the flattering and greeting

of a rich person

and the dismissive welcome

of the poor person

in verse 3

reflects the social customs

of the age.

The community to which James writes

has divided themselves

according to the criteria

of wealth, status and power.

To this egocentric situation,

both Paul and James

have direct and pointed advice:

In God's eyes

there is no distinction among people -

in fact,

God's priority is for the poor.

This is a countercultural message,

for the insistence in the New Testament that

God shows no partiality

according to rank or status

is rare in non-Christian writings.

Indeed,

the priority of the poor

is a unique and powerful witness

of the radical preaching

of James

and the rest of the

early Christian gospel.

Paul says

the believer is set free

for freedom (Galatians 5:1),

and James

exhorts his readers to

look to the "perfect law of liberty" (1:25).

The point of both Paul and James

is similar --

as the believer recognizes his or her

belovedness in Christ,

and lives out this faithful relationship

in love and service to others...

the depth of their faith

is reflected in the quality of their community.

Paul and James

would both say that

division and conflict show

a profound lack of understanding of

such faithfulness

and the necessary attitude

of service and submission.

For both Paul and James,

persons who profess to follow Christ

will be judged by

"the law of liberty" (2:12).

Jesus sets this law...

"You shall love your neighbor

as yourself" (v. 8).

The purpose of

the "law of liberty"

is to set people free

to live in community

and welcome everyone,

having particular concern for

the poor, the widow and the orphan (1:27).

Read Text: James 2:1-10, 11-13, 14-17

Friends.

Who needs 'em?

Some argue that

friends are the latest casualty

of the lifestyle wars

as we struggle to balance

the full-time demands

of career and family.

With spouse, mortgage, kids,

schedules, work and travel,

there doesn't seem to be room

for anything else.

Something's gotta give.

Friends seem expendable,

so friends are the first to go.

Like Jim Hoffman.

About twice a year,

when he can't handle the guilt anymore,

he sits down

and answers neglected e-mails

from a half-dozen pals he hasn't seen in ages:

"Sorry I stink as a friend,"

he begins.

The local internet designer

says he's too busy,

and friends are a luxury

he can no longer afford.

With a wife,

a young daughter

and a busy job,

"I'm already at 120 percent,

there really is no room for anyone else."

No big deal.

Or ...

maybe it is a big deal.

Recent research tells us

what we've long suspected:

friends are important.

That's why so many organizations

use the word

"friend"

in their name:

Friends of the Sea Otter,
Friends of Libraries,
Friends of Israel,
Friends of Freedom,
Friends of the Environment,
Friends of the Earth,
Friends of the Ocean
and Friends of Japan.

There are friends of

gardens, parks, countries,

cities and states.

Even a group that calls itself

Friends of Tobacco, HQ

in -

surprise! -

North Carolina!

You need a friend?

You can find one at FriendFinder (www.eFriend.com).

When the medical community chimes in,

the value of friendships

is dramatically underscored.

Fewer friends lead to

higher stress and a shorter life.

In a study of 2,800 men and women

over the age of 65,

those with more friends

had a lower risk of

health problems,

and they recovered faster

when they did develop them.

A Yale University study

of 10,000 seniors

showed that having friends

reduced the risk of death

by about 50 percent

over a five-year period.

Friends can help you

reduce stress,

improve the quality of your life,

live longer,

get a better job,

expand your business,

improve your marriage

and derive more joy from your life.

So there you have it.

There is value to having friends

over the long term.

No surprise.

What is intriguing

is the notion that

our friends will come and go throughout life,

and that this is absolutely normal.

Dr. Jan Yager,

in her new book, FriendShifts,

argues that

it is very rare for a person

to have a friend for a lifetime.

Instead,

we tend to shift our friends

as our own needs and circumstances themselves shift.

The numbers say,

typically,

adults today have

one or two "best" friends,

four to six "close" friends,

and 10 to 20 "casual" friends.

But let's be honest:

Even these numbers seem high.

Healthy friendships

take time

just to get going,

up to three years

according to some experts.

Then they require nurturing

and attentive planning.

But just when the friendships are in place,

they vanish,

victims of some new component

in the social equation:

new job, new school,

new baby, new spouse,

whatever.

The bottom line is that

we not only don't have as many friends

as we used to,

but we're going to lose

the ones we have.

But that's okay.

We will pick up new friends

in a cyclical pattern of friend shifting

that will continue for the rest of our lives.

Or so we might convince ourselves.

James takes the discussion

to another level.

Christians tend to exaggerate

their claims of friendship.

We've got the friendliest church in the world,

but we'll walk right by the stranger in the hallway.

We love one another,

but we're just as likely

as the next guy

to badmouth a brother,

or scandalize a sister

with a juicy tidbit of gossip.

We say we'd never

stoop to the behavior

of the nearsighted usher in today's text,

but we forget that

the church has a shady past.

For example,

the church must never forget

its complicity in

promoting slavery and segregation

and in resisting their demise.

Have we forgotten that

there were plenty of Christians

who had their hands on the ropes

when they were stringing up a black man,

leaving him swaying in the wind

during the 1930s?

see James Allen, Without Sanctuary: Lynching Photography in America [Twin Palms Publishing, 2000].)

Proverbs of the old testament say that

not only must a friend speak gently,

but also boldly.

And James argues that

it is not enough

to assert love and friendship with words.

There must be signs of this friendship

or else both the friendship and the faith are dead.

James goes on and says that

we can't be

an enemy to our neighbors

and still be

a friend of God.

To be a friend of God,

we've got to keep faith with our friends.

And therein lies the lesson.

We must keep faith with our friends.

If we don't,

we have neither faith nor friends.

James is adamant.

There must be signs.

Friendship -

whether with our neighbor or with God -

requires faithship

which requires workship

and results in worship.

So who is our friend?

Our friend is our neighbor.

Who is our neighbor?

Read the Parable of the Good Samaritan. Luke 10:29-37

In answer to a lawyer

who was trying to justify himself by asking,

"And who is my neighbor?"

Jesus responds,

In reply Jesus said:

"A man was going down

from Jerusalem to Jericho,

when he fell into the hands of robbers.

They stripped him of his clothes,

beat him and went away,

leaving him half dead.

A priest happened to be

going down the same road,

and when he saw the man,

he passed by on the other side.

So too, a Levite,

when he came to the place and saw him,

passed by on the other side.

But a Samaritan,

as he traveled,

came where the man was;

and when he saw him,

he took pity on him.

He went to him

and bandaged his wounds,

pouring on oil and wine.

Then he put the man

on his own donkey,

took him to an inn

and took care of him.

The next day

he took out two silver coins

and gave them to the innkeeper.

`Look after him,'

he said,

`and when I return,

I will reimburse you

for any extra expense you may have.'

"Which of these three

do you think was a neighbor

to the man who fell

into the hands of robbers?"

The expert in the law replied,

"The one who had mercy on him."

Jesus told him,

"Go and do likewise."

What does it mean

to keep faith with our neighbor?

Shifra Penzias,

a rabbinic student,

tells of her great-aunt,

Sussie,

who rode a bus home on a snowy evening

in Munich of Nazi Germany.

Suddenly,

SS storm troopers stopped the coach

and began examining the identification papers

of the passengers.

Most were annoyed

but a few were terrified.

Jews were being told to

leave the bus and
get into the truck

around the corner.

Sussie watched from her seat

in the rear

as the soldiers systematically

worked their way down the aisle.

She began to tremble,

tears streaming down her face.

When the man next to her

noticed that she was crying,

he politely asked her why.

"I don't have the papers you have.

I am a Jew.

They're going to take me."

The man exploded with disgust.

He began to curse and scream at her.

"You stupid *&%$#,"

he roared.

"I can't stand being near you!"

The SS men asked

what all the yelling was about.

"Damn her,"

the man shouted angrily.

"My wife has forgotten her papers again!

I'm so fed up.

She always does this!"

The soldiers laughed

and moved on.

Sussie never saw the man again.

She never even knew his name.

If we must keep faith

with our friends,

we must also keep faith

with God.

James describes

our fidelity to God

as a faith

that is "active" (2:22).

It was characteristic,

he says,

of Abraham the patriarch,

and Rahab the prostitute (2:23, 25).

They both,

when push came to shove,

when life was at risk,

they kept faith with God.

The result:

Abraham and Rahab were both called

a "friend of God" (2:23).

God wants -

needs -

friends who will keep faith with him.

who help us stay faithful to God.

Sources:

Jeffrey, Nancy Ann. "Whatever happened to friendship?" The Wall Street Journal, March 3, 2000, W1-W12.

Kushner, Lawrence. Invisible Lines of Connection. Woodstock, Vt.: Jewish Lights Publishing, 1996 [Shiftra's story, 81].

Yager, Jan. FriendShifts: The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives. Stamford, Conn.: Hannacroix Creek Books, Inc., 1999.

Friendship is unnecessary,

like philosophy,

like art ....

It has no survival value;

rather it is one of those things

that gives value to survival.

-C. S. Lewis

"The crisis you have to worry about most

is the one you don't see coming."

We have considered

the depth of the world

and the depth of our souls.

But we are only in a world

through a community of men.

And we can discover our souls

only through the mirror of those who look at us.

There is no depth of life

without the depth of the common life.

-Paul Tillich, from Shaking the Foundations, cited in The Education of the Heart
(New York: Harper Collins, 1996), 223.

In clinical psychology

when you study the high incidence

of serious abuses in drugs,

when you study the high incidences

of why young people are doing violence to themselves

in the form of crimes or suicide,

certain behavioral patterns

appear and reappear.

And one that seems to be

a common denominator

in all of these areas

is that basically

these persons are loners -

they seek out the same type -

they have never known what it is

to have a solid friendship. ...

Parents

can help and teach

"friendship,"

not just for the purpose of

avoiding the abnormal,

but for the purpose of giving your child

the opportunity of a lifetime,
a solid friendship. ...

Every friendship enriches your personality.

It gives you insight

into the life of another

who has been led by the Holy Spirit.

A solid friendship

enables you to realize that

in the presence of your friend

your secrets

as well as your sins

are sacred.

Friendship

is an antidote for

boredom and loneliness,

but also a quality that enables you to

grow up in the friendship of God

and in the sight of your neighbor.

-Mark Connolly, "The Value of Friendship," Spirituality for Today, February 2000.

Political scientist John Dilulio

followed the data

to see what would save

America's urban youth.

He believes

with all his social-scientist heart

that the path to urban change

runs through gospel-centered churches

and faith-based ministries.

The spiritual outreach approach

is "like a martial arts approach,"

he observes.

"It takes all the negative force that you bring and flips it around.

How?

It says to the kid,

'It may be true that you had nobody,

but let me tell you something,

God loved you,

even when you didn't know.

When the world hated you,

God loved you.

And I'm going to tell you something,

I love you,

and I'm there for you.

And I'm going to be there for you.

And where am I?

Right over there.
Right in that basement over there.
Right through that door,

24/7/365,

that's where you'll find me.'"

-Tim Stafford, "The Criminologist Who Discovered Churches,"
Christianity Today, June 14, 1999, 35-38.

Speaking of friendship:

• May God defend me from my friends:

  I can defend myself from my enemies.

  - Voltaire

• Every time a friend succeeds,

  I die a little.

  - Gore Vidal

• The one thing your friends will never forgive you

  is your happiness.

  - Albert Camus

• We cherish our friends

  not for their ability to amuse us,

  but for ours to amuse them.

  - Evelyn Waugh

A British publication

once offered a prize for

the best definition of a friend.

Among the thousands of answers received were the following:

"One who multiplies joys, divides grief, and whose honesty is inviolable."

"One who understands our silence."

The winning definition read:

"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."

-Source unknown